he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
