Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
