Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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