so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize