I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
