There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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