I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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