you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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