I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
