I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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