My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
