Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
