we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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