oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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