we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
