We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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