sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
