i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
