apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
