oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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