Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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