you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
