Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
