Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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