I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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