I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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