She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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