Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize