This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
