...so i touched it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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