come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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