I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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