I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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