So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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