All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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