I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
