Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize