I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
