It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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