And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
