i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
