you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize