Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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