Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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