I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
