What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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