i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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