Swine flu. Run for my life!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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