its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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