Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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