What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My pussy is not your playground.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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