Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
