Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
