i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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