Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
