It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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