Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
