Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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