Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Success! We fucked roommates!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
