you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
