and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm both gender and math confused
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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